crash and lost..

Today, my heart struggled again.

I could not concentrate the whole day, the thought kept playing on my mind and behind it was all the preparations i would do, to again offcourse, get rid of it. To take it away and just move on without it killing me. There will be next year but damn..shit okay i don't want to talk about it. Okay maybe tomorrow or next week.

To save the day, my dad and i had a movie marathon. We watched crash and that i swear is an excellent film. Definitely worthy of that oscar win. I cried somewhere in the movie. That's getting redundant in this journal..i know! It talks about discrimination, love and its simplicity. And you would not meet anyone who's as sensitive as i am when it comes to races, discriminations, prejudice and shit. I don't know but i have this thing for you know unity with all the different people in the world. I mean mexicans (you're expecting this i know but this is a different story, no filthyness:P), arabs, persians and blacks. I love issues about them. Like i always find beauty in them whenever i encounter one. Not pimping myself ha but really i am the least closest thing to racists! i swear i used to dislike pakistani's and stuff when i was younger but now, i sort of had this openness to them and i always find something beautiful or atleast positive from them. Like i always root for the iraqi or the israeli. It is so weird and don't even ask me about blacks. I once had a thought that i am really black trapped in a pacific islander's body. Maybe it's exposure na rin like one of my best friends right now is persian and indians as well, they're really amazing. Basta it's weird kasi people lalo na the community that i grew up with from my highschool and stuff, when they hear middle east people, they cringe or basta iba yung reaction when you say french, british or americans. Pero sa aken ngayon they're all the same.

I also had a LOST overdose. I SWEAR THAT SHOW IS LOVE. Everybody's been pimping that show and i thought it was overrated lang seeing it finally from the start and as in complete.. it's love, i swear. I finished three discs as in 9 episodes from 5pm to 12am, just now. and yeah yeah..SAWYER IS SEX but JACK HAS THIS WEIRD EFFECT ON ME..hahah siguro nga..women dig doctors..talaga..haha pero guess who my favorite character is so far? as in hindi ko ineexpect.. hahah you're right OMG I LOVE SAYID! My first emotional experience with LOST so far was his story. As in his nadia and being an iraqi republican guard. That choosing over love and duty always gets me and i do not know why. I had a nostalgic moment while watching his sepia ladden love story. While watching, this thought of a man shouting "I will find you" to the woman he's about to leave and with no assurance that they're gonna see each other again kept playing in my head. I've seen it somewhere movie or what basta lagi pumapasok sa isip ko yan scene na yun. Not clear kung sino basta man and woman tapos yun yung sinasabi. SHit i am such a sap. I can't wait to continue.

LOST HOTTIES

but i love Sayid's story.