the sweetest thing

Shit.
Sometimes i really feel like i am never going to connect with anyone in this world. I was having a night with my friends and it was too damn good. But i noticed i am still holding back. I still cannot show what my inner being was saying. I cannot shout my desires, dreams and thoughts. And these are people i like. I am comfortable with. But it still does not want to be found. I've been trying so hard you know. The stillness and beauty that life sometimes give you, if you're lucky. It's still drifing. All my life i've tried to see a glimpse of it, even just to breathe it. But there's so much beauty in this world, i feel like it's starting to disappear around them. Like all those beautiful things moving around you and you get lost around them. While you are slowly losing your whole self. I am not asking so much. All i ever want in this life is to see and breathe that beauty. The real one. The one that would not make you feel lost and won't eat your heart up. Is that too much to ask?