Lack of heart in things and being disorganized.

Last time in my introduction to communication class, our presentation about ourselves happened. Okay it is something i've been dreading for a while. I mean first, i am not comfortable in public speaking. Second, i can't talk about myself in front of people. So imagine how sucky i looked in there. Okay my presenatation was too vague and technical because i followed that comm thing while others really told everything in their lives even the cute silly things that they've overcome. I just think i looked boring in there, the way i presented myself was i am this geeky bookworm. Hahah i loved being a geek and a bookworm but i did not present my other self. You see i am interested in a lot of things and i can talk and relate to almost anyone. I can talk about basketball, wrestling, indie films, opm, rock, rap , hollywood, gulong ng palad and pinoy big brother. I am that diverse and that's not even 75% of what i follow. So i am just dissapointed with that. And i sound like I AM ABOUT TO CRY. It is weird but i always cry when i talk about myself. Anything about myself, even talking about my reading habits, my favorite tv show or what. Anything that is connected to me makes me too damn emotional. Haaha it's okay but i want to lessen that shit at all. It is really killing me. Why can't i just be that person who does not care about anything especially to what other people will tell them? i care too much of what the world will think of me that's why i always ended up being the worst, bobo and boring when in fact i can be the best, most unique. Shit. i hate it.

Oh and i think i failed the long exam. Our instructor said she checked a few papers and a lot of them sucked. like 60% so far failed. She also emphasized how our writing sucks so bad. " YOU GUY'S CAN'T WRITE!". Hahah i am prolly one of them. I found the test hard but i answered it so fast like i was scribbling and shit not even thinking of the rules etc. Hahah i just write whatever comes in my mind without even reading it after. I always have that habit i swear i hate it. I know i suck in writing. I love doing it. Hahha that's the coolest thing.. being bad in something that you breathe and love to do. That is writing and me. I have a disorganized mind and heart that's why it reflects in everything that i do. Just look at my penmanship and sentence construction. Look at my bedroom. Hahah everything is disorganized. I just hope i don't fail badly. Kahit na medjo malapit lang please.