my nerves

Ayoko sa lahat INUUTUSAN AKO! Yung sasabihin ganito na lang wag na yan biglaan hindi man lang ako tinatanong! bwiset! at mga taong hindi nagiisip! anobah mag isip ka naman minsan kahit 1sang segundo lang sa buhay mo! nakakabuti din yun noh!

How do u do it? make me feel like i do

Stellar is my favorite Incubus song ever.

Meet me in outerspace
We could spend the night, watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place, wont you come with me
We could start again
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
Meet me in outerspace
I will hold you close, If your afraid of heights
I need you to see this place, It might be the only way
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
You are stellar


This song just kills.

The kite runner

I am so glad i met my shorty and gave me a chance to read and experience this WONDER. I finished the novel a while ago and IT RIPPED MY HEARTS OUT. I Swear it was beautiful. I can't believe i can experience that in books. I was kina feeling down lately and reading this just killed me. I could not go on without crying. I wasn't even crying. I WAS BAWLING LIKE A BABY. Shit the prologue itself was wonderful. I also met one of my FAVORITE CHARACTERS in the history of books. He just killed me. When i was reading him, i could not help but pause in a while, stare in the ceiling and wonder. He was just real and beautiful. After finishing the book, i just opened the first few pages and scanned all the his scenes...he was too surreal... i think everybody in this world should read this book..that's how wonderful it is..anyway it's easy read. No boring part and the writing rips emotions. I love Afghanistan. I love the middle east. I think it's a beautiful place full of hopes and dreams. I am so going there someday.

Then i glanced up and saw a pair of kites, red with long blue tails, soaring in the sky. And suddenly Hassan's voice whispered in my head: For you, a thousand times over. Hassan the harekipped kite runner.

I sat on a park bench near a willow tree. I thought about something Rahim Khan said just before he hung up, almost as an afterthought. There is a way to be good again. I looked up at those twin kites. I thought about Hassan. Thought about Baba. Ali. Kabul. I thought of the life i had lived until the winter of 1975 came along and change everything. And made me what i am today.

Hassan and i fed from the same breasts. We took our first steps on the same lawn in the same yard. And, under the same roof, we spoke our firsts words.

Mine was BABA.
His was AMIR. My name.

I watched baba's car pull away from the curb, taking with it the person whose first spoken word had been my name.

He was already urning the street corner, his rubber boots kicking up snow. He stopped, turned. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "For you a thousand times over!" he said. Then he smiled his Hassan smile and disappeared around he corner. The next time i saw him smile unabshedl like that was twenty six years later, in a faded polaroid photograph.

For you, a thousand times over.

I HOPE I FIND MY HASSAN IN LIFE.

the

Give this one to me. Please.
I'm hungry.

the sweetest thing

Shit.
Sometimes i really feel like i am never going to connect with anyone in this world. I was having a night with my friends and it was too damn good. But i noticed i am still holding back. I still cannot show what my inner being was saying. I cannot shout my desires, dreams and thoughts. And these are people i like. I am comfortable with. But it still does not want to be found. I've been trying so hard you know. The stillness and beauty that life sometimes give you, if you're lucky. It's still drifing. All my life i've tried to see a glimpse of it, even just to breathe it. But there's so much beauty in this world, i feel like it's starting to disappear around them. Like all those beautiful things moving around you and you get lost around them. While you are slowly losing your whole self. I am not asking so much. All i ever want in this life is to see and breathe that beauty. The real one. The one that would not make you feel lost and won't eat your heart up. Is that too much to ask?

oh shit rob yeah

Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.

italia

A lot are talking about this madskill showing of Zidane over Marco Materrazi, no one really knew why the amazing Zizou did it but there is something for sure because you don't just do that in a do or die wordlcup finale and in the last game of your football career. So the question is: what did that punk materrazi said that earned him this amazing headbutt? A lot of speculations came out inluding Marco calling him a" dirty terrorist" or something nasty about his algerian roots. Others said he insulted Zizou's family. They said Materrazi was talking in italian and maybe he was not aware that Zizou can understand him (he played in juve before). Materrazi said his side already and we still haven't gotten anything from Zizou. I can't wait to hear it because i really really believe that it was really something big. Zidane looks laidback and quiet and you do not piss off laidback and quiet men or you'll get fucked and worse, a solid headbutt in front of billions of people watching. I effin hate racists.


Okay. I do not LIKE MATERRAZI. I'm not familliar with him or anything but based on shallow judgement, he looks like A THUG. A street fighter waiting for his final headbutt that he deseved. So yeah, i do not like him at all because i love the french boys but but he gives me this weird shit when i watch him. So i've said before that THAT FREAKIN ITALIAN TEAM IS SEX. Like the other teams, there are only like one or two standout hottie but when you watch the Azzuri, you'll get confused and your hormones will squeal and jump up and down because ALMOST EVERYBODY IN THE TEAM IS DO-ABLE. I love Cannavaro, nesta, del pierro, totti but shitttttt this punk materazzi is killing me. He looks so dirty and bad ,it kills. Lalo na when he's greasy and running in that blue jersey with that hair. I swear..bring me to ITALY! I hate you marco materrazi, you're owning my hormones..but i hate you still.

Cannavaro on top of Marco Materrazi celebrating after their win.

Damn, look at these italian footballers. I swear they give you hallucinations and stomach pain. Why are they so hot? now italia moves up in the list of places to go. It is down to like 15th and now it maybe on the top 5. Hahah. If they weren't so good lookin, maybe i would have cursed them winning this tournament. Seriously. It is that lame.

I realized that i have bombarded this blog with football and footballers. Please forgive me but this only happens every four years and the whole world is tuned in and footballers are one of the most beautiful things that exists in this world. Hahah but seriously, it is a beautiful game. It goes down and under your existensial realm resulting into that beautiful natural high. I'd die to be a good footballer. I'd die to see a live game. I'd die to have one. Haaay so much beauty in this world.

wordlcup 2006

France.
That shit RIPPED MY HEARTS OUT.
My tears started falling after DAVID missed that penalty that caused france to lose the game.
I did support that FRENCH team BECAUSE OF HIM. This worldcup season was very disappointing for him because he could not get a goal and he barely played. And finally he was given a chance in the most important game of his life and he MISSED. I swear after that shot, i died and i wanted to hide and runaway of shame and denial that IT WAS HIM who freakin missed that shot. It was really frustrating for me, i've defended him to everybody and now. He failed. He was the one who missed that shot. Maybe if it was some other player, i would not feel this way. Shit this game and these damn players are killing me.


My David Trezeguet after MISSING that penalty.


and it got worse when i saw him after the italians officially won..he could not even move..and all the french players came up to him and hugged him..that killed me. It's even sad because this might be his last worldcup lalo na with what happened..shit it's so sad. DAVID TREZEGUET , MY HEART WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!

and yeah i think it was FATE. That shot and him. It was fate.

So much for this worldcup...it was a good one....really changed me in someways..kudos to the azzuri....you guys are sex..and my brasil and france losing.. and germany...it was really emotion overload...and other good moments like my man LUKAS PODOLSKI winning the BEST YOUNG PLAYER AWARD over really unbelievable guys like cristiano ronaldo, lionel messi and cesc fabregas. I love love love you. You're my favorite GERMAN in the world. and ZIDANE..i will not say much anymore.. i love you still...that ART and GIFT that you have is one a kind. it's okay you have the golden ball naman and you will forever be one of the best to ever played this beautiful game.

Whoa..worldcup..see you in four years when i'm rich and 23 already.

Mr. cab

Roanna: i'll tell you something
kamy_bored: What?
Roanna: I like **a*
kamy_bored: Ok
kamy_bored: that's it
kamy_bored: bye

losing

Losing


Ronaldo stands in the corner after the upset of france over brasil


English boys after the 3-1 penalty shootout loss to Portugal.



A sad sad view


Beating hearts.

I saw in CNN how BRAZIL treated the brasillian players. I swear IT WAS HARSH. They were calling THEIR OWN players lazy ass donkeys and nothing but showoffs. Some of the players pictures like my beloved and forever crush Ronaldinho were burned but Ronaldo got most of the beating. My heart bleeds for that man, I SWEAR! He has had enough. He had a decent performance in this world cup naman. But being "Ronaldo" and playing a decent game just does not fit and is not right for most people. So now everybody's killing him. Awww the price you have to pay for fame and success. I still think it's not RIGHT. They should know that this is a game and their players can lose any minute even doing their best. This is football maygad. I know they are sad and they breathe football there in their country but France clearly outplayed them that night and the brasillians should respect that. THEIR BOYS WERE AMAZING, STILL THE BEST ON THE PLANET but that moment they weren't lucky. One game did it yes they should understand that. Haaay maybe they would say i don't even understand a single drop of shame and pain that they are feeling right now but FORM THE BOTTOM OF MY WEAK HEART, I'D DIE TO HAVE THOSE BRASILLIAN BOYS PLAYING FOR MY COUNTRY. WAG NYO SILANG TABUYIN! IF YOU DON'T WANT AKIN NA LANG SILA!

wordlcup and surrealism

This night was what i would call...

NATURAL HIGH!

Shit the day started awful from my stupid class and ugh someone's drama, i thought it was going to be like that all through out. It was really bad to the point that Mary went home na. AND DAMNNNN THE FOOTBALL GAME REDEEMED IT.

There were so many people in there like there's a concert or something haha i've always like NSG naman eh but this was different. really. and we got the best seat in the house pa. We were a minority there because a lot of people were rooting for ENGLAND and me, maika and the iranians are for PORTUGAL hahah. It was MOCKING GALORE! super fun! hahah i really thought we WERE GONNA LOSE. England was good and loaded then the score was 0-0 so we were given what we've asked for HAHA PENALTY SHOOUTOUT! HEAVEN YUN FOR FOOTBALL GEEKS LIKE US! So we were up on or knees as in the place was explosive na ang dami tao even those who were passing lang umupo na sa floot grabeh haha then the BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT HAPPENED. HAHAH

BEST MOMENT: We were watching the penalty shootout when OUR BIG SCREEN FREAKIN DIED! hahah someone stepped on it! Instead of going mad and shouting ALL OF US STEPPED ON OUR CHAIRS AND TABLES TAPOS WE RUN DUN SA LITTLE TV'S SA CORNERS HAHAH! stampede haha!!! that was love right in there. Pure honesty of the humanity. naks. But it was really surreal for me. it was all because everybody wanted to see if the goal is gonna go in. Hahah then portugal won. we died.

We were ecstatic dude. It's not the football game. It's the people around and how they are all passionate about this one thing. this one thing. It creates no barrier. All races in there. Sabi nga nila if there is one thing na nagkakaintindihan ang lahat ng races sa mundo: sports yun! hahah We were shouting and shouting when we won and it's like when you look at the people around you, it seems like they somehow connect even if you don't know them. All smiles and high fives kahit na you guys dont know each other. Shit sa sports games lang yan. Passion and heart talaga. Not the poser sports fans ha. It was really beautiful. Beautiful game and beautiful moment.

Hahah Maika and i were like WE SHOULD REALLY DO THIS AGAIN okay. Hahah we will watch the next brasil (if they win okay) game. Semi-finals. Wooot. It's gonna be sad next week pag natapos na yung worldcup. Shit after for years na ulet toh haha.

Games = Natural high

long time eh?

Have not updated in a long time, been busy with school, football, boys and dreaming.

School: Can i shout READINGS!!!! I'm bombarded with gazillion readings i swear. Like as if it is something new huh? haha i love love to read but not these boring technical shits for comm stat. I am really not feeling that subject i swear. I love my marketing man class though. My instructor, Ms. Shirin is amazing. and physics? maygad i cannot believe some people actually choose to study that..it's one of the most boring things in this world. My northam was err... disappointing..i wanted to take her and learn..i really want to KARIR that subject you know. I want to learn about cultures. Learning japan now..they are weird and cute and my modern literature class..guess what!!! we are studying TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD!!! that's like my top 3 all time greats!!! i love love love that masterpiece too pieces! hahah it's like a bible that i have to read every year. read it. it's love.

The BRASIL -GHANA game is LIVE right at this moment and BRASIL currently up 2- 0 via Ronaldo (5') and Adriano (46'). If there is one game i'd like to see live, this would be one of it. I love brasil but i love Ghana too. I wasn't familliar with them before the world cup started but i fell in love watching them, they are inspiring and determined. THEY ARE THE ONLY AFRICAN COUNTRY LEFT IN THE WORLDCUP and it's SAD to see them go. I've seen this clip where their players went home in Ghana for a visit and it's overwhelming really how their countrymen are so supportive. I LOVE LOVE THE AFRICANS! I cheer for them when i watch them. They are so inspiring and happy. It's beautiful. It's sad but it looks like there will be no african nations left after this. Props to BRASIL. woot.

Still waiting for the FRANCE - SPAIN GAME. OFFCOURSE I'M ROOTING FOR FRANCE!!! My beautiful strikers..Trezeguet and Thierry Henry should win it!!! Honestly i think SPAIN has this in the bag but there's still this tiny hope. SPAIN are freakin good. I like them too but not as much as France. I love CESC FABREGAS and RAUL...but i want to see my beautiful french strikers again so they should win this.

I don't like England and Germany. Everybody wants to see them in the finals. NOOO! I want the africans and South americans to win!!! I don't like germany but i love love love LUKAS PODOLSKI (okay exception)!!! He's good and DETERMINED!!! shett 3 goals in his first international competition! anobah i don't like blondies like him pero he is really something! haha

Talking about hotness..if you want to watch football to see hot guys, i suggest you watch an ITALY GAME! Those AZZURIS are hot! Seriously, WALANG PANGET! hahah like everybody there is d0-able! special mention totti, nesta, toni and a lot lot more! :P

I still cannot believe i can't watch games live. I swear if only our country......OK I WILL STOP ABOUT THAT PHILIPPINES AND FOOTBALL ISSUE OK...hahah i just wish our country would experience what the world is feeling right now. It's beautiful. In Brasil, they even close their stock exchange and re-sched the death of their prisoners when there's a game. In africa, kids play football in the streets even their hungry..it's not because of basketball that our country is not good in football ok? PUT THAT IN YOU FREAKIN MIND. I love basketball too, it is also a beautiful game. Pwede naman tayong magbasketball at football diba? there is no problem with that so don't blame basketball why our country is poor in football. It's the organizers or the people behind it here in our country, it is not the game's fault. Sayang kung may exporsure at magandang program land ang football. Siguro hindi na tayo pang #190 + sa rankings in the world diba. Ang dami pa naman magagaleng na players dito. Haaay . Pero i still can't help it not to feel bad when i see the people in other countries in a world cup frenzy. I swear NATURAL HIGH TALAGA YUN!

Shit I SWEAR I SHOULD WATCH THIS ONE LIVE NEXT 2010!!!! or if not..2014 or 2016 hahha siguro naman i'm rich enough to afford it na noh? and old na ren pero i really should. hahahah i swear I WILL WATCH A WORLDCUP BEFORE I DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha shit i sound like a crappy sports person up there haha. I can't helpt it football is love!!!

Hahah i crush this certain guy. He's orgasmic i swear. One word? someday! haahah :P

Friends...

I'M SURROUNDED BY POSERS EVERYWHERE.
Shit i want to just get stuck in an island with a sensible person and talk about football, basketball, politics, literature and africa. I swear to God, i am trying my best but i really have low tolerance for morons and poseurs.

Rafael Nadal

I LOVE RAFAEL NADAL!

He just defended and won the French Open Roland Garros 2006! He defeated Roger Fererer 1-6, 6-1, 6-4, 7-6..everybody loves Roger and we want him to win his grandslam but i loveee Rafa... He's very nice to watch...so young and graceful...KING OF CLAY!!!!!!!! And we are both 19 and he's from spain...oh he turned 20 last week..but still.. ..ohmaygad i love him and Marat Safin..my tennis boys...i almost suffocated when i saw rafa biting that trophy.. hormones..shit i am overdosing this blog with sports and athletes haha what can i do..i love them.

Football hotties part I

Since it's the football season and they are one of the most beautiful things in this world. I have to d do this. The hottest testosterones playing that beautiful game.

1. Cristiano Ronaldo - Portugal, manchester united
--->He looks so perfect sometimes he's GROSS. Like eeew you know like sometimes he has gay tendencies already. He's so effin vain too and he knows he's beautiful. Portuguese guys hate him for being too damn goodlookin and every girl in the world who knows football wants a piece of Ronaldo's tatas. Where the hell did he get those genes???









2. Kaka - Brazil, AC Milan
---> The brazillian boy wonder. The best looking guy in that wonderful brazil team. Did not like him at first but he grows on you. He has weird fierce eyes like they are too cute and at the sometime powerful. And come on how in the world can you not love a guy as good lookin as he is and at the same time named KAKA?





3. David Trezeguet - France, Juventus
---> I WANT TO MARRY THIS FRENCH GUY. I seriously want to have his babies. He's not the best looking of all but he's on the top of my book. I mean i know im biased with kalbo and tan looking guys but there's this stillness in him that i want like it's not too much and he's still a guy. I like like like looking at him and how his features came to exist into one. I love love him....coucou.





4. Thierry Henry - France, Arsenal
---> Come on we all know it. HENRY IS SEX. Nuff' said.





5. Ilhan Mansiz - Turkey
--> Turkish delight. I don't know anything about Turkey aside from yilmaz bektas and istanbul, well atleast another thing to love about that country. ILHAN MANSIZ IS HOT!





Okay that;s all for now. Let's relax our hormones first. Mine is too tired. This is just one reason to love that beautiful game. More testosterones next time.

dreams

I promise myself i am gonna study hard and GET REALLY RICH and i'll go to brasil, portugal, argentina, spain, angola, iran, spain, mexico and morocco and the whole damn central america. I want culturesss!!!! i want to breathe theirs! shitt that's like food, you know thinking about that. I swear to God i am gonna get rich and i'll use my money to fulfill this even for four months and then i'll come back..i do not care if i get empty handed after basta i'll make it happen. Shit i think about his everytime i wake up in the morning and that for the fact itself means i have to do it.

wordlcup and footballers

I have 30 units this sem. Watch me die. I'm gonna one of the most boring persons in the next 6 months. Stupid online enlistment. I hate those fuckin reg, makes me wanna run for SEB and fire all those gee dee bees in there. Talk about manners? huh atleast just for 5 seconds.

FOOTBALL..nagkakagulo yung buong mundo ngayon dahil sa worldcup tapos yung pilipinas..wala.. boo.. stupid country..ughh i don't want to talk about that overdose of basketball shit...i hate basketball now.. my boys were all eliminated..and i was arguing with my brother about football and the Philippines..he said it could never happen..i mean even if daw..i told him no..andami kayang magagaleng dyan...problema lang walang support,fund at exposure..kung gawin kaya nilang parang basketball.. i'm sure may mangyayari..sayang yung mga talent..


Prediction...shempre brasil...with argentina and germany close. Pero ang unpredictable, a lot of things can happen...i just want to see it..boo solar..they have it in paperview pero ang mahal.. and i don't want to pay..let's see what happens with the venues though..I want to see the hotties!!! footballers are sex!

Kaka, morientes, owen, rio ferdinand, del pierro, aimar, christiano ronaldo, henry, mansiz ....shett ilhan mansiz...and trezeguet..oh my god David trezeguet!!! i can't look at you and not cringe..i want to have your babies!!!!! too bad some of them won't play..and can i just say i love ronaldhino.. kahit na he's not very nice to look at..he's the sweetest thing... i love him.. and now let's put show some testosterone


damn these french hotties




i want! shett my hormones..



ooh footballers = testosterone


i've been bumming around lately..being fat and lazy..i'm so charging for school which will start in two weeks...i've finished lost, grey's anatomy and a lot lot more... heheh productive break.. i love lost but grey's anatomy is love..i swear i always get this giddy feeling after every episode..i mean with lost.u want to look at sawyer and jack and see the next one but that's it..with grey's..i'm like happy and shit hahha and looking forward to it..ang gaan kasi panoorin.. and shit yeah i want go to morocco!!!!

my heart

BWISEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Shit IF I ONLY KNEW. I HATE IT. God....it is really not good to be obsessed with something.. it's going to kill you big time in the end...fuck i hate it. bwiset. bwiset ka. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk i am gonna win okay. shett

Dreams and dreaming

This guy i know said he's gonna marry me and i should wait for him. His reason was so funny but i would not tell you. He said "getting" that "reason" is like a dream come true for him. So yeah i am associated with his "dream" and i find that really odd because dream is one of my favorite words and i highly use that when i think of all the things that would fulfill my whole existence. It's also so cute how men think highly of that "reason" like him. Now atleast i think he's interesting. Hahah i want to talk to him 1.) about dreams and dreaming and 2.) for him to feed my ego again haha.

crash and lost..

Today, my heart struggled again.

I could not concentrate the whole day, the thought kept playing on my mind and behind it was all the preparations i would do, to again offcourse, get rid of it. To take it away and just move on without it killing me. There will be next year but damn..shit okay i don't want to talk about it. Okay maybe tomorrow or next week.

To save the day, my dad and i had a movie marathon. We watched crash and that i swear is an excellent film. Definitely worthy of that oscar win. I cried somewhere in the movie. That's getting redundant in this journal..i know! It talks about discrimination, love and its simplicity. And you would not meet anyone who's as sensitive as i am when it comes to races, discriminations, prejudice and shit. I don't know but i have this thing for you know unity with all the different people in the world. I mean mexicans (you're expecting this i know but this is a different story, no filthyness:P), arabs, persians and blacks. I love issues about them. Like i always find beauty in them whenever i encounter one. Not pimping myself ha but really i am the least closest thing to racists! i swear i used to dislike pakistani's and stuff when i was younger but now, i sort of had this openness to them and i always find something beautiful or atleast positive from them. Like i always root for the iraqi or the israeli. It is so weird and don't even ask me about blacks. I once had a thought that i am really black trapped in a pacific islander's body. Maybe it's exposure na rin like one of my best friends right now is persian and indians as well, they're really amazing. Basta it's weird kasi people lalo na the community that i grew up with from my highschool and stuff, when they hear middle east people, they cringe or basta iba yung reaction when you say french, british or americans. Pero sa aken ngayon they're all the same.

I also had a LOST overdose. I SWEAR THAT SHOW IS LOVE. Everybody's been pimping that show and i thought it was overrated lang seeing it finally from the start and as in complete.. it's love, i swear. I finished three discs as in 9 episodes from 5pm to 12am, just now. and yeah yeah..SAWYER IS SEX but JACK HAS THIS WEIRD EFFECT ON ME..hahah siguro nga..women dig doctors..talaga..haha pero guess who my favorite character is so far? as in hindi ko ineexpect.. hahah you're right OMG I LOVE SAYID! My first emotional experience with LOST so far was his story. As in his nadia and being an iraqi republican guard. That choosing over love and duty always gets me and i do not know why. I had a nostalgic moment while watching his sepia ladden love story. While watching, this thought of a man shouting "I will find you" to the woman he's about to leave and with no assurance that they're gonna see each other again kept playing in my head. I've seen it somewhere movie or what basta lagi pumapasok sa isip ko yan scene na yun. Not clear kung sino basta man and woman tapos yun yung sinasabi. SHit i am such a sap. I can't wait to continue.

LOST HOTTIES

but i love Sayid's story.