i miss kyle and thom yorke

I MISS KYLE AND THOM YORKE...

I tried to revive Kyle today but he just gave up on me..and Sam said that i have to replace his life power or just buy a new one becaue it would be better..i don't want to replace him.. i love love him. his greenness and my play lists..i miss it.. i realized how i really cannot live without my music.. NO MUSIC NO LIFE! I know it is true because that is what i am feeling right now.. i just came to a gig in school and now i'm in a music state of mind ( lagi naman eh:P), i miss Kyle so much.. I WANT MY RADIOHEAD FIX! I HAVE TO HAVE THAT ATLEAST EVERY NIGHT!

I swear to God...they are one of the best things in this world..one of the best bands ever! ever! Thom Yorke is my mind twin. I think everybody should atleast have ten radiohead songs in their list or else they are missing so much... hahah and if you only know "CREEP" screw you! hahah to tell you, they hate that song! Someone said that if you say that to them, they will be embassed hahah! They are my shrink and crazy pills! They are always on my side!

My radiohead top fix includes high and dry, thinking about you, how to disappear completely, my iron lung, fake plastic trees, karma police, motion picture soundtrack...... oh maygad
i badly miss Kyle and Thom Yorke.

" i don't care if it hurts"

I was just talking to kamy about split second sadness then she said it is attacking her..i told her to run...then that man..it is back! i swear that man will be the death of me! You know when i think of the word DREAM MAN...my mind prints it and it is him! all the darkness, wit and sadness in him. I swear to god i am going to Canada! I will die..i thought i was gonna have a cardiac arrest a while ago.. then it's gone...canada okay? then i grabbed Kyle..my ipod and turned it on then shitttt it does not want to.. HE DIED. died permanently on me. Even Kyle hates me because i'm whiny and abusive..too complicated..
I lost many things today.

worlds' greatest

I am watching an Efren Bata Reyes marathon on his way to owning the world pool 8ball ust a few days ago.
I love watching him.
He reminds me of my dad.
The smile, the aura, the moves, the sillyness.
My dad loves Efren.
I love efren.
He is my dad.
Hahah.

i wanna repair your desire

this is it. I knew it. this is just it. What do we love? pain. I want this.

Four: i love this game, writing, emotions, soul searching, hopeless romantic, athlete, determined, real, sadness, heart

moment

One: football, politics, extreme sports, nature, middle east, basketball, fugliness, gigs, charisma
Two: Guitar, blank stares, black, writing, thrash talking, theater, weirdness, outcast, smart
Three: math geek, hideous clothes, economics, fierce eyes, the F you walk, anime, loser, live in

all the weird things in life. Got it. Here comes the pain.

today

Love
is an act of forgiveness, that for all our imperfections, we are accepted and forgiven.
is about finding courage inside of you, that you did not even know was there.
is a song we sing to those who have forgotten who they are.

desire

A while ago i was talking to my mother when suddenly i wanted to tell her something but i could not AGAIN for the nth time. So i started crying again. Whenever i can't say something to someone or i can't let it out even if it's just saying that you need to get this or just to ask something, no matter how shallow the thing is. If i don't get to say it.. I CRY. It is like an outlet, i don't know and the number of times that i cry goes exactly into my heart forming that sadness that would turn into dreams. Sometimes i feel bad for myself. If i were on the shoes of others and i know someone like ME , i swear my heart will die for that person. I just want to sleep in that cold tiny apartment with my quiet and goofy boy next door who does NOT go clubbing and listen to dugshh dugshh music and we will watch our ball games on late night tv while pigging out on pizza and ice cream and discussing work. GAY!

the devil wears prada

OMG I EFFFIN LOVE THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA!

I haven't read the book yet but the movie was fantabulous!!!!! MERYL STREEP WAS A GODDESS!!! SHE WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!! I love everything in it! how they put it in that little piece! Newyork, paris, the advertising world (hahah future?), the powertripping(i better get used to this!), the bitches, the clothess and shoesssssss!!!!! heaven! maygad now I DONT WANT TO EAT! maygad!!!! Watching the film made me think of my future like if ever i work in there basta that world ung publishing, copywriting, advertising, magazines! Is it gonna be like that??? i can't work in an environment like that! I HAVE THE BIGGEST HEART IN THE WORLD! I swear I DO! Hindi lang halata! and i cannot take that! mga ganun happening in front of my eyes! i can't keep my mouth and my heart shut! i feel! shett naiyak ako sa ending! hehe GAY!

EMILY BLUNT!
I LOVE THIS BITCH!

"YOU CAN'T GO TO PARIS! YOU EAT CARBS!"

"GUYS, GIRD YOUR LOINS!"

"i'm on this new diet where i don't eat anything and when i feel like i'm about to faint, i eat a cube of cheese."


ADRIAN GRENIER! LIVE IN TAYO!

ohmaygad! i used to have this really HUGE CRUSH ON HIM! He's really a dream boy! he has this boy next door looks that i only realized I FUCKIN WANT IN A MAN! Shit if u watch the movie, i like the set up of Anne hathaway and Grenier.. ung live in sila but Grenier was so different..parang LALAKE talaga in a sense na he's not the guy who goes to clubs and listens to DUGSH DUGSH MUSIC! EEW!!! eew! maygad i hate those guys! DIE! shit Adrian Grenier!!

I realized how that would make me peaceful! yung working in a job that you really like and you are having fun tapos you live together with that guy who's so different and beautiful that has no superficiality. Maygad that alone will make me really happy! please! All you need in life to survive is one person who truly loves you!

my nerves

Ayoko sa lahat INUUTUSAN AKO! Yung sasabihin ganito na lang wag na yan biglaan hindi man lang ako tinatanong! bwiset! at mga taong hindi nagiisip! anobah mag isip ka naman minsan kahit 1sang segundo lang sa buhay mo! nakakabuti din yun noh!

How do u do it? make me feel like i do

Stellar is my favorite Incubus song ever.

Meet me in outerspace
We could spend the night, watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place, wont you come with me
We could start again
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
Meet me in outerspace
I will hold you close, If your afraid of heights
I need you to see this place, It might be the only way
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
You are stellar


This song just kills.

The kite runner

I am so glad i met my shorty and gave me a chance to read and experience this WONDER. I finished the novel a while ago and IT RIPPED MY HEARTS OUT. I Swear it was beautiful. I can't believe i can experience that in books. I was kina feeling down lately and reading this just killed me. I could not go on without crying. I wasn't even crying. I WAS BAWLING LIKE A BABY. Shit the prologue itself was wonderful. I also met one of my FAVORITE CHARACTERS in the history of books. He just killed me. When i was reading him, i could not help but pause in a while, stare in the ceiling and wonder. He was just real and beautiful. After finishing the book, i just opened the first few pages and scanned all the his scenes...he was too surreal... i think everybody in this world should read this book..that's how wonderful it is..anyway it's easy read. No boring part and the writing rips emotions. I love Afghanistan. I love the middle east. I think it's a beautiful place full of hopes and dreams. I am so going there someday.

Then i glanced up and saw a pair of kites, red with long blue tails, soaring in the sky. And suddenly Hassan's voice whispered in my head: For you, a thousand times over. Hassan the harekipped kite runner.

I sat on a park bench near a willow tree. I thought about something Rahim Khan said just before he hung up, almost as an afterthought. There is a way to be good again. I looked up at those twin kites. I thought about Hassan. Thought about Baba. Ali. Kabul. I thought of the life i had lived until the winter of 1975 came along and change everything. And made me what i am today.

Hassan and i fed from the same breasts. We took our first steps on the same lawn in the same yard. And, under the same roof, we spoke our firsts words.

Mine was BABA.
His was AMIR. My name.

I watched baba's car pull away from the curb, taking with it the person whose first spoken word had been my name.

He was already urning the street corner, his rubber boots kicking up snow. He stopped, turned. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "For you a thousand times over!" he said. Then he smiled his Hassan smile and disappeared around he corner. The next time i saw him smile unabshedl like that was twenty six years later, in a faded polaroid photograph.

For you, a thousand times over.

I HOPE I FIND MY HASSAN IN LIFE.

the

Give this one to me. Please.
I'm hungry.

the sweetest thing

Shit.
Sometimes i really feel like i am never going to connect with anyone in this world. I was having a night with my friends and it was too damn good. But i noticed i am still holding back. I still cannot show what my inner being was saying. I cannot shout my desires, dreams and thoughts. And these are people i like. I am comfortable with. But it still does not want to be found. I've been trying so hard you know. The stillness and beauty that life sometimes give you, if you're lucky. It's still drifing. All my life i've tried to see a glimpse of it, even just to breathe it. But there's so much beauty in this world, i feel like it's starting to disappear around them. Like all those beautiful things moving around you and you get lost around them. While you are slowly losing your whole self. I am not asking so much. All i ever want in this life is to see and breathe that beauty. The real one. The one that would not make you feel lost and won't eat your heart up. Is that too much to ask?

oh shit rob yeah

Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.

italia

A lot are talking about this madskill showing of Zidane over Marco Materrazi, no one really knew why the amazing Zizou did it but there is something for sure because you don't just do that in a do or die wordlcup finale and in the last game of your football career. So the question is: what did that punk materrazi said that earned him this amazing headbutt? A lot of speculations came out inluding Marco calling him a" dirty terrorist" or something nasty about his algerian roots. Others said he insulted Zizou's family. They said Materrazi was talking in italian and maybe he was not aware that Zizou can understand him (he played in juve before). Materrazi said his side already and we still haven't gotten anything from Zizou. I can't wait to hear it because i really really believe that it was really something big. Zidane looks laidback and quiet and you do not piss off laidback and quiet men or you'll get fucked and worse, a solid headbutt in front of billions of people watching. I effin hate racists.


Okay. I do not LIKE MATERRAZI. I'm not familliar with him or anything but based on shallow judgement, he looks like A THUG. A street fighter waiting for his final headbutt that he deseved. So yeah, i do not like him at all because i love the french boys but but he gives me this weird shit when i watch him. So i've said before that THAT FREAKIN ITALIAN TEAM IS SEX. Like the other teams, there are only like one or two standout hottie but when you watch the Azzuri, you'll get confused and your hormones will squeal and jump up and down because ALMOST EVERYBODY IN THE TEAM IS DO-ABLE. I love Cannavaro, nesta, del pierro, totti but shitttttt this punk materazzi is killing me. He looks so dirty and bad ,it kills. Lalo na when he's greasy and running in that blue jersey with that hair. I swear..bring me to ITALY! I hate you marco materrazi, you're owning my hormones..but i hate you still.

Cannavaro on top of Marco Materrazi celebrating after their win.

Damn, look at these italian footballers. I swear they give you hallucinations and stomach pain. Why are they so hot? now italia moves up in the list of places to go. It is down to like 15th and now it maybe on the top 5. Hahah. If they weren't so good lookin, maybe i would have cursed them winning this tournament. Seriously. It is that lame.

I realized that i have bombarded this blog with football and footballers. Please forgive me but this only happens every four years and the whole world is tuned in and footballers are one of the most beautiful things that exists in this world. Hahah but seriously, it is a beautiful game. It goes down and under your existensial realm resulting into that beautiful natural high. I'd die to be a good footballer. I'd die to see a live game. I'd die to have one. Haaay so much beauty in this world.

wordlcup 2006

France.
That shit RIPPED MY HEARTS OUT.
My tears started falling after DAVID missed that penalty that caused france to lose the game.
I did support that FRENCH team BECAUSE OF HIM. This worldcup season was very disappointing for him because he could not get a goal and he barely played. And finally he was given a chance in the most important game of his life and he MISSED. I swear after that shot, i died and i wanted to hide and runaway of shame and denial that IT WAS HIM who freakin missed that shot. It was really frustrating for me, i've defended him to everybody and now. He failed. He was the one who missed that shot. Maybe if it was some other player, i would not feel this way. Shit this game and these damn players are killing me.


My David Trezeguet after MISSING that penalty.


and it got worse when i saw him after the italians officially won..he could not even move..and all the french players came up to him and hugged him..that killed me. It's even sad because this might be his last worldcup lalo na with what happened..shit it's so sad. DAVID TREZEGUET , MY HEART WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!

and yeah i think it was FATE. That shot and him. It was fate.

So much for this worldcup...it was a good one....really changed me in someways..kudos to the azzuri....you guys are sex..and my brasil and france losing.. and germany...it was really emotion overload...and other good moments like my man LUKAS PODOLSKI winning the BEST YOUNG PLAYER AWARD over really unbelievable guys like cristiano ronaldo, lionel messi and cesc fabregas. I love love love you. You're my favorite GERMAN in the world. and ZIDANE..i will not say much anymore.. i love you still...that ART and GIFT that you have is one a kind. it's okay you have the golden ball naman and you will forever be one of the best to ever played this beautiful game.

Whoa..worldcup..see you in four years when i'm rich and 23 already.

Mr. cab

Roanna: i'll tell you something
kamy_bored: What?
Roanna: I like **a*
kamy_bored: Ok
kamy_bored: that's it
kamy_bored: bye

losing

Losing


Ronaldo stands in the corner after the upset of france over brasil


English boys after the 3-1 penalty shootout loss to Portugal.



A sad sad view


Beating hearts.

I saw in CNN how BRAZIL treated the brasillian players. I swear IT WAS HARSH. They were calling THEIR OWN players lazy ass donkeys and nothing but showoffs. Some of the players pictures like my beloved and forever crush Ronaldinho were burned but Ronaldo got most of the beating. My heart bleeds for that man, I SWEAR! He has had enough. He had a decent performance in this world cup naman. But being "Ronaldo" and playing a decent game just does not fit and is not right for most people. So now everybody's killing him. Awww the price you have to pay for fame and success. I still think it's not RIGHT. They should know that this is a game and their players can lose any minute even doing their best. This is football maygad. I know they are sad and they breathe football there in their country but France clearly outplayed them that night and the brasillians should respect that. THEIR BOYS WERE AMAZING, STILL THE BEST ON THE PLANET but that moment they weren't lucky. One game did it yes they should understand that. Haaay maybe they would say i don't even understand a single drop of shame and pain that they are feeling right now but FORM THE BOTTOM OF MY WEAK HEART, I'D DIE TO HAVE THOSE BRASILLIAN BOYS PLAYING FOR MY COUNTRY. WAG NYO SILANG TABUYIN! IF YOU DON'T WANT AKIN NA LANG SILA!

wordlcup and surrealism

This night was what i would call...

NATURAL HIGH!

Shit the day started awful from my stupid class and ugh someone's drama, i thought it was going to be like that all through out. It was really bad to the point that Mary went home na. AND DAMNNNN THE FOOTBALL GAME REDEEMED IT.

There were so many people in there like there's a concert or something haha i've always like NSG naman eh but this was different. really. and we got the best seat in the house pa. We were a minority there because a lot of people were rooting for ENGLAND and me, maika and the iranians are for PORTUGAL hahah. It was MOCKING GALORE! super fun! hahah i really thought we WERE GONNA LOSE. England was good and loaded then the score was 0-0 so we were given what we've asked for HAHA PENALTY SHOOUTOUT! HEAVEN YUN FOR FOOTBALL GEEKS LIKE US! So we were up on or knees as in the place was explosive na ang dami tao even those who were passing lang umupo na sa floot grabeh haha then the BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT HAPPENED. HAHAH

BEST MOMENT: We were watching the penalty shootout when OUR BIG SCREEN FREAKIN DIED! hahah someone stepped on it! Instead of going mad and shouting ALL OF US STEPPED ON OUR CHAIRS AND TABLES TAPOS WE RUN DUN SA LITTLE TV'S SA CORNERS HAHAH! stampede haha!!! that was love right in there. Pure honesty of the humanity. naks. But it was really surreal for me. it was all because everybody wanted to see if the goal is gonna go in. Hahah then portugal won. we died.

We were ecstatic dude. It's not the football game. It's the people around and how they are all passionate about this one thing. this one thing. It creates no barrier. All races in there. Sabi nga nila if there is one thing na nagkakaintindihan ang lahat ng races sa mundo: sports yun! hahah We were shouting and shouting when we won and it's like when you look at the people around you, it seems like they somehow connect even if you don't know them. All smiles and high fives kahit na you guys dont know each other. Shit sa sports games lang yan. Passion and heart talaga. Not the poser sports fans ha. It was really beautiful. Beautiful game and beautiful moment.

Hahah Maika and i were like WE SHOULD REALLY DO THIS AGAIN okay. Hahah we will watch the next brasil (if they win okay) game. Semi-finals. Wooot. It's gonna be sad next week pag natapos na yung worldcup. Shit after for years na ulet toh haha.

Games = Natural high